GOD SPEAKS TO ARSEN WENGER.

And the Lord said unto Wenger,
“Behold I have heard your cry and indeed I have seen the works of the Mancites, the Manuzites, the Chelshites and the Tottentites. I have seen how the Mancites have put their trust in filthy mammon.. I will permit them for this season. I have alsoseen how the Manuzites lean on the arm of Ferguson… I will pity them also for a seasonmore. However the sin of the Chelshites andthe Tottentites are beyond pardon. The Chelshites have made gods of their old prophets and have not allowed my young prophets to prosper… Europa league is theirdue. But the Tottentites have vexed me most of all. They have made proud boasts of their skill and their pacy wingers. They have taunted their better rivals and kicked them even as they lay on the floor, as if theydid not know that Fabregas had returned tothe land of his birth and Nasri had moved on to the land of oil and gold. For this sin, I have instructed mighty angels to seal up the goal post of all their opponents on every pitch of play. In vain will Bale shoot, for nought will Lennon sprint. Their midfield will wallow in confusion, even as their defence swims in goals. Their lot shall be with those who lie behind those who qualify for Europa. When these things happen, Arsene my professor child, be aware and know that I am the source of your success, but also endeavour to buy Podolski, Goetze and Vertoghen. And endeavor to re-sign Van Persie. If you do this then next season the drought of trophies that has assailed you will end. I have spoken”